Why my Parent's Divorce was Good for Me


My parents divorced when I was eight years old. I spent a majority of my life thinking my family was broken or inferior to those families that had not experienced divorce. I believed that my parents divorce created a life of disadvantage for my siblings and me.  

As I reflect back on my life though, I've come to the realization that in some aspects my parents divorce was actually good for me.  At a young age, my parents divorce taught me four important life lessons: I gained a deeper understanding about what is most valuable in life, what it means to be resilient, that life isn't perfect, and that love takes work and patience.

1. I learned that not everyone gets to live "happily ever after".  Love, in real life, is different than the love portrayed in fairy tales. "Happily ever after" isn't something that happens to you. Lasting love is something spouses work together towards everyday.

2. My parents divorce made me realize that I'm not always going to get what I want in life. Life isn't perfect. It doesn't go according to our plans. What we wish, hope, and pray for doesn't always happen. 

But Heavenly Father cares for, and is aware of, each of his children. When your heart is crushed and the darkness starts to dim your faith, Heavenly Father's love for you is still there. Even when your world seems to be falling a part, the Lord extents tender mercies to each of us.

3. By going through the struggle and heartbreak of a divorce, and by realizing that life is not always easy and that we can not wish our problems away, my parent's divorce taught me resilience. 

The dictionary defines resilience as, "The capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness." I know that in life, things often get worse before they get better - but they do get better.

Forgiveness, faith, and love each contribute to the healing process. Healing doesn't always happen as fast as we want, but slowly you'll heal and become stronger.

4. Because of my parents divorce, I have almost no attachment to material possessions. Items can be disregarded, lost, or stolen but the love found in relationships can be carried within our hearts through space and time. My parent's divorce taught me that the most valuable things in life are the relationships we have with ourselves and the relationships we share with those people closest to us.

The attitude we have towards ourselves and the thoughts we carry within us have a huge impact on our individual healing process. Which is why the relationship you have with yourself is one of the most important relationships to nurture and develop.

It's our family and friends, not material possession, that are the most important blessing in life. I'm grateful to have learned, at a young age, that the relationships and interaction we have with ourselves, our friends and our family members are some of the most important blessing in life.



                  



Please understand that I am not an advocate for divorce. Divorce is devastating for everyone involved, but it is especially heartbreaking when it involves children.

I wish that more people would learn ways to better themselves so that they could better their marriages. 

In a perfect world, couples would fall more and more in love with each other each year they've been married. But we don't live in a perfect world. Divorce is something that effects thousands of people and hundreds of generations. 

I just hope that those who have experience divorce are able to recognize the valuable life lessons it contains. 


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