4 Things I Wish I Knew Before I Got Married + a Link-Up

The title of this post may sound like I'm demeaning marriage - but I'm not!

Yes, marriage can be hard, but I think one of the reasons it can be difficult is because it's one of the biggest transitions you'll make in life.
 (Second to becoming a parent - or so I've heard)

So, to help make this amazing, wonderful, crazy time a little bit easier, I've come up with a few uncommon pieces of advice that I wish I would have known before I got married. 





1. The "Marriage 15"

Have you ever heard of the "Freshman 15"? 
Ya know, the fifteen pounds most freshmen gain by the time 
they've finished their first year of college? 

Well I'm here to tell you that there is also the "Marriage 15."
It can easily happen if you're not careful, 
but now that you know about it - don't lose sleep over it.

Just have a plan you and loved one can do 
together to help prevent it.
(Because it's easier to prevent weight gain than 
it is to lose it - amiright?) 


2. Birth control alternatives.
(We are talking about marriage, so of course we're going 
to discuss at least one adult topic)

I probably should have written an entire post just about this topic. Because it is the most important piece of knowledge that I wish I would have known before I got married.

Like a large majority of women, when I started taking the pill my doctor warned me that I may experience mood swings and depression, but I didn't really think anything of it.
And besides, even if I did get a little moody or sad, 
I would just have to buck-up and deal with.
Because what other (enjoyable) long term option 
for birth control did I have?

Well guess what happened?
Slowly, over a period of about six months, 
I started having more and more emotional breakdowns.
Until they became a weekly thing.
(my poor husband)

I never put two and two together.
I always blamed my emotional breakdowns on the 
stress I was experiencing from work or school.
I just thought that I couldn't handle the stress 
of our new life together.

It wasn't until I stopped taking the pill that I 
realized just how much it was effecting me.
Within a week of stopping, I felt like my old self again.
 I was even able to handle a more stressful school schedule and more work responsibilities in the following months without having one single emotional breakdown.

Not only that, but my creativity shot through the roof.
I had so many ideas and things that I was excited to be doing.  
Getting out of bed became ten times easier, 
because I was actually excited about life again.
And a-little-side-note that may be tmi, but have you ever heard that the pill can lower your libido? 
Well it's true. (at least it was for me)


Anyways, if any of this sounds familiar to you,
or if you're worried this might happen to you in the future,
then just know that there are alternatives to birth control besides the pill.

Have you ever heard of the Fertility Awareness Method?
I hadn't heard of it until I pick up this book.

Taking Charge of Your Fertility, 10th Anniversary Edition: The Definitive Guide to Natural Birth Control, Pregnancy Achievement, and Reproductive Health

It seriously changed my life.



3. Save money while you're single

This is it is the one thing that my husband said he wishes he would have done differently before we got married.

 I also think it's something a lot of people can relate to because usually when you're single you don't have as many expense as you do when you're married.
Which means when you're single, you get accustomed to a certain lifestyle that you may not be able to maintain after you're married.

Maybe, right now, you can afford that huge car payment each month or you can afford to go shopping for new clothes each paycheck - but things change when you get married.

And it can be a really hard adjustment.

 My husband and I were used to going out on 
dates every weekend and being able to take off 
in the car to go where ever we wanted.
 But after we got married our money was spend 
on different expenses and suddenly we didn't
 have the money to drive halfway across the state 
just because we felt like going on a little trip.
 Don't-get-me-wrong, we had tons of fun on all our little adventures and I wouldn't want to trade 
those memories for anything!

It's just when we look back on that time, 
we both wish we would have been a little bit 
better at setting aside some money for the future.


4. You ain't his momma


This is the most obvious tip, but I felt that it was worth mentioning because 
I've seen problems (in my own marriage and others) that stem from one spouse thinking that they have the right to tell the other spouse how to do everything.

Give your spouse the power to make their own decisions.

I've noticed that when I try to tell my husband how to do things, whether its how to make dinner or how he should handle himself in certain social situations, that it's more harmful to our relationship than it is beneficial.

My husband wants to know that I trust 
him to make his own decisions. He wants to know that I feel confident in the man I married.

So, unless he asks for help or advice, 
I try to let him decide for himself.

I'm not perfect at it. (Ask him and he'll tell you. ha!)
But I try to convey to him that I trust him to 
make his own decisions,and our relationship 
has been stronger because of it.




***

Well there they are, the four things I wish I would
have known before I got married.

Can you think of a few things you
wish you would have know before you got married?

I would love to hear the advice you have to share!
If you feel inspired to write your own blog
post on this topic, please feel free to use the link-up below!








4 comments

  1. This post is wonderful! And I TOTALLY know what you mean about the whole birth control thing. I was on the pill for a year and seriously crying all the time and mood swings galore, it was just ridiculous, haha. So glad I got rid of those! And I love point number four as well. That is something I am trying to work on and get better at as well!

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  2. I am very much single, but this was a fun post to read! I always like hearing different perspectives and looking forward to the day when I am married :}

    ​​
    xo katie // a touch of teal

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  3. all of these are SUCH great points - i am lucky enough that birth control didn't give me crazy mood swings (still going strong after 2 and a half years!) but i have had friends who have lost their minds while on those pills - how lucky are we to have so many options now?! also i love the point "you ain't his mamma." don't nag, don't boss. so important. great thoughts, thanks for sharing!!

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  4. I began blogging in the fall of 2011 as a way to share snapshots of our lives with our family and friends, and as a place to keep track of our favorite recipes. Along the way I have picked up a few extra readers, and I have really enjoyed meeting so many wonderful people through blogging. My blog is my virtual scrapbook. it has become a chronicle of the things we enjoy doing and the food we enjoy eating.

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